On June 3rd, 2013 Jiah Khan, a 25-year-old struggling Bollywood Actress committed suicide. Her then boyfriend Sooraj Pancholi denied any involvement with her decision. Two years later, on 9th December 2015, the CBI charge-sheet confirms that Jiah was pregnant and the couple had opted for an MTP ( Medical Termination of Pregnancy), but it continues “After taking the medicine, Khan started haemorrhaging and called Pancholi for help. She was in pain and needed immediate medical attention but Pancholi allegedly asked her to wait and called up the gynaecologist for guidance. He was asked to rush Khan to the hospital as the foetus had probably aborted but had not been expelled from the body, which is probably what led to the haemorrhaging.” It goes on to say that Pancholi was afraid that if Khan got hospitalised, their relationship would become come out in the open and his career could crush. Sooraj decided to execute the needful himself. “He extricated the foetus and disposed of it in the toilet…This added to her depression which finally drove her to suicide” the charge sheet says.
There are thousands of women slitting their wrists, popping on sleeping pills and hanging themselves from the ceiling when thwarted in love. Is it okay to let go of reason and the wider picture simply because somebody is unworthy of you? It is okay to betray life and most importantly your own self for the sake of another being who refused to value your life? Women for most of their lives are indoctrinated to be dependent on others for their happiness. I wish to formulate certain basic rules to be infused into the existence of womanhood.
• Please don’t teach a little girl that the only way the Princess can be safe is when the Prince comes and rescues her. The Prince Charming riding on his horse, coming and kissing you and taking you to his palace to live happily ever after is a myth. Teach her to own the Palace on her own and rule it like the Queen she is.
• Never ever blame only the woman for a failed relationship. She has the entire right to demand from her partner equal fidelity and commitment. It is entirely okay to let go of something that is harming you in any way.
• Love is all-consuming. But do not let it consume you. Stand by a woman when she is going through a rough patch in a relationship. Assert her with the belief that she has her own identity. A good relation should help you grow, not hinder your development as a human being.
• Do not tell her that “men will be men” and that she should “give him time.” No, men should be responsible for every deed they do, just like women. Please do not lighten the man’s offences with a lame “men will be men.”
• Do not let a woman believe that she “needs someone” to make her happy. She is a complete being, not someone’s mother/wife/girlfriend/daughter. It is no one’s duty to keep her happy. Her happiness is in her own hands.
• Teach a woman that she needs to love herself. Where advertisements start with “80% of women are not happy with the way they look”, it is somewhat inevitable that women hate themselves or are not comfortable with what they are. Please make her believe that she is beautiful. Absolute. That she has the entire universe within her. That she is a ball of fire, rolling downhill. Stop her fall, pick her up and show her how to blaze through life.
She might appear fragile, but her spine is made of steel. Her face looks calm, but her heart spews out lava. Let her stand all. Give her the confidence. Assert a woman her uniqueness.